The Balance Sheet of Love! – Vegan Sudesh – (Published in Bandra Times, February 2022)

The diversity brought us in a stronger relationship still our mind hit on questions like, why isn’t everyone the same? As for people like me, who were born in February known to be comforting, imaginative and romantic, which can be common attributes for many people. By nature, we all seek for love, even lust after it, or simply lust after sex, all the while forgetting the ‘Power of Love’ with our inner-self. Then, slowly togetherness turned to inter-dependencies and every pore of our inner being transcends lust into ‘Unconditional Love’ and Care. Although, for many couples, saying, ‘I Love You’, having semi-regular sex, giving the occasional gifts or going out for dinner and attending few family gatherings etc. on special occasions are believed to be a sufficient enough ‘Expression of Love’ to sustain a relationship.

True love and life is a completely different state than how most people were taught to be in a relationship with their inner-self and their partner. How do we get this state? You must be willing to have resolved your past and free from the perception of who you believe yourself needed to be, which is easily accepted by others. This requires you to free yourself from what has happened in your life after your naivety was stripped away from society and culture.

Look at what you learned from your parents, culture, schooling and free world of the Internet, and how you reacted to both the good and bad times in your life. As I often write in my vegan stories, how did I taken a step forward to adopt veganism.  When you avoid going deep into conditioning about love, life and your sense of self-worth, you will remain lost in the matrix and not present to what is.

Sometimes, I wonder what people see at most in others before they propose to them. 

To love someone doesn’t mean to change them. Once you don’t accept them but agree to be in a relationship, then what you are doing daily is rejecting them. On one hand, you are telling them you want to be with them, on the other hand, you are saying they are not good for you. You don’t need to be judgmental about him/her and end up condemning. 

 Male Version –

When you met her, she was always in the company of male friends yet you liked her and believed you loved her. You proposed, she agreed to be in a relationship with you then all of a sudden you want her to stop talking or hanging out with her male friends. The broken stories and hidden business along with relationship makes thing complicated. But, the question is, if she already had a healthy relationship, would she still had gone ahead to accept your proposal?

 Female Version –

You meet him on social media, he has lots of girls as friends, he proposes to you or you propose to him, and you both agreed to be in a relationship yet complaining he has too many female friends and that they are always busy in chatting with him. The question to you is, if you don’t trust him, why did you agree to be in a relationship with him?

To love someone does not mean you have the power to change them into who you want them to be. To love someone means you accept them for who they are. If you can’t accept the one you claim to love for who they are or what they do, then don’t go for them. You don’t need to make your love for him conditional, asking them to choose between you and their friends/family, behaviours as such only make your love questionable. Remember, if you force love, you get crap.

Life is on as long as it is beautiful and so are you. When you give yourself permission to stay out of the influence of need-based social aggregation in the tumbling economic world and unwind yourself from routine life is awakened to what love, life and bliss really is.

To stay updated with my regular posts on relationships, vegan recipes and plant-based lifestyle, please visit my website: vegansudesh.com and follow me @vegansudesh at any of your favourite social media platforms.

Vegan Sudesh
Email: ask@sudesh.org